now clogging the internet elsewhere

14 August 2006

Karma. It's a bitch.

The office I’m working in currently is directly across from a woman I’ll call Scary Bossy Lady. SBL’s job tasks appear to include managing the air conditioning system, managing the computer equipment, and sending all-office emails about the state of the refrigerator in the break room. Last week, we got a series of fridge status emails from SBL, which got progressively more ridiculous as the week wore on:

Monday: Please remember to label your items in the refrigerator, and throw out things that are past their prime. It’s getting gross. Tuesday: At the end of the week, any item that is not labeled is getting thrown away. It is DISGUSTING in there. Wednesday: No matter what you may think, your mother DOES NOT LIVE HERE, and we do not have a maid service. Please stop being inconsiderate and spare the rest of us your grossness. Thursday: The fridge is truly foul. Anything that is not labeled will be thrown away tomorrow at 2 p.m. This includes Tupperware and other things you might want to save!!! BE POLITE!!! Get your stuff out of the fridge or it’s HISTORY! You’ve been warned. Friday morning: Enough is enough. If we can’t pull together as a community to take care of the fridge, how can we really be living up to our mission to protect foster children? We should all be ashamed. Remember, 2 p.m. tomorrow! Friday, 1:59 p.m.: I am truly disappointed in the response to this fridge crisis. I am now throwing away all items in the fridge, even those that are labeled, so that we can turn off the fridge over the weekend and leave it open to air out. It is the only way to get rid of the stink caused by our total breakdown of fridge etiquette.
She is truly absurd. So I walk into the office this morning and it is infested with flies. Teeming. Flies EVERYWHERE. The building maintenance guy came up and said, loud enough for the whole office to hear, “man, was the fridge open all weekend like that? Why would you do that? That’s what drew the flies in here. For sure. No question.” Ha! Take that, SBL!


At 8/14/2006 05:31:00 PM, Anonymous Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...


It's like with kids too. If you threaten to do something at 8:00 and don't do it, nobody will believe you the next time.

At 8/14/2006 08:42:00 PM, Anonymous samantha Jo Campen said...

"Pull together for fridge ettiquette" WTF?

Tell her to take some Xanax and chill the fuck out.

The funny thing is, people would have probably respected her wishes and 'pulled together' if she hadn't been such an alarmist and so condescending. Sheesh.

At 8/15/2006 01:06:00 AM, Blogger barista brat said...

i'm betting she only sent about half the emails she actually wrote.

At 8/15/2006 03:55:00 AM, Blogger hazelblackberry said...

I loved: "If we can’t pull together as a community to take care of the fridge, how can we really be living up to our mission to protect foster children?"

At 8/15/2006 05:33:00 PM, Blogger Devra said...

If she wantst to shame you into taking care of the fridge as if it were truly a crisis intervention and wants community involvement, why not send her a note stating "It is unfortunate the empathy exercise was completely misunderstood. Children who end up in foster care, often come from households where there is nothing in their fridge at all. We are the lucky ones. It was our hope, as a community, that every time you opened our fridge you would recognize and be reminded of just how good we all have it in comparison to the children we work so diligently to place in foster homes and keep protected."

At 8/16/2006 01:54:00 PM, Blogger Johanna said...

LOL. This lady has way too much time on her hands and clearly takes herself way too seriously. I too love her reference to foster children. Please tell me you are not the only person in the office who recognizes how ridiculous she is.


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