After learning that joining a gym for one month in New York was going to cost me $250, I decided that it was about time that I Learn Yoga. Nevermind that I am spectacularly uncoordinated and my soul is not really adequately primed to receive spiritual enlightenment. It's cheap! And supposed to make you limber and flexible! Sign me up! So this week I've gone to yoga three times in an effort to get the full value of my $20 unlimited one-week newcomers pass. All was going swimmingly- I hadn't fallen over onto anyone, yoga pants had not fallen down, teacher had not drawn attention to my shocking inflexibility in front of everyone- until today, when we were doing some kind of pose involving lifting our legs very high in the air, the woman in front of me KICKED ME! In the FACE! With her gross bare feet! And then, instead of saying "sorry for planting my untrimmed toenails in your nose," she said "you're too close to my mat." I wanted to say "well, sweet pea, there are 35 of us crammed into this little room- I'm about as far from your mat as I can be without actually sitting in the lap of the person practicing behind me," but all I could muster was "sorry." Not sorry! Really not sorry! Unclear why I felt compelled to apologize! I believe I will take the day off from yoga tomorrow. I need to re-center.