Set for Status

Every time I go to court, I am struck all over again by how flipping long it takes for anything to get done in our local court system. Take our current motion: we filed the motion in June, it was set for hearing in September, was then postponed to October, when we presented half of it, then was continued to today, when we presented the other half, then the state said it was going to need a month (a MONTH) to write a reply to our memorandum of law in favor of our motion (which we filed IN JUNE) so we are not set to actually do argument on this motion until December 15, at which point the judge can rule. December. From June. Not for trial, for a single motion. My head? It spins. One of the key factors in this epidemic of feet-dragging is the status hearing. At a status hearing, all the parties and the lawyers gather in the court to update the judge on what's been happening. Around here, any time you want to do anything, it requires a status hearing. Need to receive your copy of the discovery? Needs a status hearing. Want to give opposing counsel a memorandum of law? Status! Want to sneeze? We should probably schedule that for status. Seriously, these meetings often go something like this:

Judge: What case is next? Docket Clerk: Client McClient Judge: Counsel? Defense Counsel: Judge, we've just handed the state a copy of the map they asked for, and the state has given us a memo one of their interns wrote. State's attorney: Judge, we're going to need some time to analyze and respond to that map, so we'd ask at this time that this matter be continued until we've had a chance to do that. Judge: How long do you need, counselor? State's attorney: Eight weeks should do it, judge. Judge: Hearing is set for February 21st, 2007. State's attorney: Thank you your honor. Defense counsel: Thank you your honor.

Applying the concept of the status hearing to this here weblog, I offer the following:

Reader: Pseudo? Pseudo: Reader, I'm currently cramming my head full of ethics rules and regulations in preparation for tomorrow's MPRE. I'm going to need some time to analyze and respond to these stupid hypotheticals so I don't fail and have to take it again. Taking it again would suck. Plus, I'm pretty sure everyone would find out if I failed, and that would be kind of embarrassing. Reader: How long are going to need, pseudo? Pseudo: 24 hours should do it, reader. Reader: Resumption of previously-scheduled NaBloPoMo activities is hereby set for after 11:30 a.m. on November 4, 2006. Pseudo: Thank you, reader.

Please god do not let me fail the MPRE. Amen.