On your first day at a law firm, you will...

...sweat through your blouse in 15 minutes because it is 91 freaking degrees outside ...train with an 18-year-old Harvard freshman who somehow manages to be more put together looking than you are. ...embarass yourself trying to use the unnecessarily complicated "coffee system." ...walk into your newly-issued office and discover that it is stocked chock full of office supplies, including a glue stick, an "envelope moistening wand", white out (now available in legal pad yellow! who knew!), and brand-new, still in their packaging tape dispenser, stapler, and scissors. (The teacher in me nearly swooned.) ... go to a two-hour, three-course lunch, at the end of which the associate you ate with will say, with genuine pleased surprise, "hey! only $60 for lunch! not bad!" ...spend two solid hours being trained on the use of Outlook. (Who knew email was so complicated?) ...watch a video on sexual harassment, produced by the firm's labor and employment attorneys, that makes you seriously reconsider your earlier request that you be given labor and employment work during the summer. ...learn that all summer associates are going to be attending next week's Madonna concert in a luxury box, courtesy of the firm. Which is almost enough to make me reconsider working at a firm after graduation. Almost.