now clogging the internet elsewhere

05 September 2006

No parking

Dear University Parking Swamee: Please accept my apology for my disgraceful behavior this afternoon. I came into your office to pick up my parking pass for the new academic year. In my hot little hand I carried a check for two hundred and seventy dollars, an amount equal to the thirty dollar monthly fee multiplied by the nine school months, and the exact amount I was told I would owe by the Law School Parking Liaison. Yes, she actually calls herself that. No, I'm pretty sure she's not kidding. So you'll have to forgive me for my reaction when you told me "that will be $480." Because $480 is more than TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS MORE than I was expecting to pay. When you explained to me that the price for a month of parking had been raised to $40 a month, I accepted that, but was still confused, see, since 40 x 9 = $360, not $480. When you explained to me that because the law school had "reserved the spot in my name I would have to pay for the full twelve months" even though I am GRADUATING in June, I exasperatedly asked you to repeat that because seriously, what? Because I reserved a parking space, (as all law students are required to do if they want a parking pass,) I have to pay for three extra months? What? So when I told you that I was no longer able to afford a parking pass because OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS ALMOST FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS TO PARK?, and you sucked your teeth and sighed audibly and told me in an irritated tone that I should not have come in there if I was just going to "flake out" and "waste your time," I admit it- I rolled my eyes at you, sighed loudly, and walked away in a sort of defiant manner, muttering under my breath words like "ridiculous" and "rip off" and "bitchy-ass annoying customer-service deficient assholes." That was rude of me. Please accept my apologies. Sincerely, pseudo


At 9/05/2006 10:24:00 PM, Blogger Lily Graypure said...

She accused you of flaking out?? WTF.

At 9/05/2006 11:23:00 PM, Anonymous samantha Jo Campen said...

Well, you just saved $270! Wahoo! Time to go shopping.

Oh wait. And, she's a bitch.

At 9/06/2006 11:59:00 AM, Anonymous suz said...

Kackheads, all of them! I'm going through this right now with our condo complex! My own effing spot, I'm getting ticketed in! (that was very Yoda). Anyway, your nasty cow experience has inspired me to take a photo and post it of the fraudulent parking passes my dad made for me :)

At 9/06/2006 12:39:00 PM, Blogger pseudostoops said...

Samantha, don't think that wasn't my first thought ("hm, this would make excellent purse money!")

and Suz, if you could please send me detailed instructions on how to make fake parking passes I'm more than happy to pay you in brownies or hand-knit wearable items.

At 9/06/2006 01:15:00 PM, Blogger Green said...

That's such bullshit. I really feel an article in the law school newspaper, with a copy sent to the local newspaper, is in order. Where's that guy John from 20/20 when you need him? Gimme a break.

If they want to raise the cost, fine. Stupid, but fine. But to make a student pay for months when they will have graduated there? No.

If you really MUST park there though, I'd do one of three things:

Sublease out the parking spot to anyone stupid enough to take it from you for the summer months

Each morning (this one requires lots of free time, obviously) after you've graduated, put up a huge sandwich board stating "Tulane Law (or wherever) Made Me Pay For This Parking Spot Even After I Graduated, So This Is What I've Decided To Use It For"

Ask if you can pay month by month, and then just don't pay after you've graduated.


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